privilege to pee

Say, what?!?!

I'm talking about Urinetown: The Musical. Brilliantly directed by Dave Tinney.

Initially, I was pretty bummed I wasn't living in Utah at the time, because I thought it would be such a fun, quirky show to do. Then Mr. G and I decided to finally tie the knot and, what do you know, I was gonna be in town. So a few texts went back and forth between myself and those in charge. The outcome? I weaseled my way into playing Hope Cladwell. 

I wish I could say the process was a breeze, but it was far from it. I started rehearsals a week later than the rest of the cast and the day I moved back from NYC AND the day I got engaged. We choreographed a number that night and pretty sure I didn't retain any of the movement. I felt more than rusty. 

For some reason, the rest of the rehearsal process was just as rough as that first night. I felt insecure, super vulnerable, and like maybe I wasn't the right fit. The style of the show was so specific and I didn't think I was getting it. Usually, I'm one of the first people off book (memorized) and I was struggling with my lines and lyrics. Basically, I thought I was totally failing and wanted to quit. 

Thankfully, I had some really great people around me (you know who you are) that talked me out of being incredibly stupid. The realization to get over myself, buck up, and work through my self-doubt didn't come easy, but I knew I needed to let my faith that I would eventually nail it, become bigger than my fear that I was royally sucking (mantra 2013).

After a couple of meltdowns, the major one during tech week, (my apologizes cast, especially Mr. G), I finally got my head in the right place and was able to just let loose, have fun, and do the work. Isn't amazing that once we forget about ourselves (selfish me) and give to whatever it is that we are doing, how much better we perform. Annoying that I have to keep learning that lesson. 

Once we opened, I had a blast! Even opening night when I almost died (the chair I was tied to for the majority of the second act fell over while it was being spun at the end of a rope around the stage) was a good time. 

So, here is my public thank you to everyone involved. Thank you for putting up with me. I'm sorry I started birth control during tech and that you had to witness the monster it created (I've adjusted now, I swear). It was indeed a privilege to say pee on stage with you all. Thank you for being some of the most talented, giving, hard working, hysterical people that have come into my life. Let's do it again!