Wednesday, October 16, 2013
roommate from the underworld
How was she a the worst witch? Examples below.
1.) She was the authority on everything and anything.
She thought she knew more about working at the Hale Theater than I did. Even though she'd only been to a couple shows and I had performed there and worked in the office. Yet, she knew more than I did.......ummm.
2.) Not willing to budge.
One of my other roommates had just lost her dad and her mom was coming down from Idaho to visit her kids at BYU to help cure some grief and loneliness. It happened to be her mom's birthday while she was in town and they needed a place to have cake and ice cream to celebrate. This roommate asked Ursula if it would be alright if they celebrated at our large house for about a half hour. Ursula threw a fit, because she invited her brother over to watch a movie at the same time. Mom's birthday whose husband just died vs. watching a movie with your bro who lives 10 minutes away. I called her to ask her to do roommate #2 a solid and delay the moving watching for just a bit. She hung up on me.
I was in a rehearsal for 110 in the Shade listening to the glorious voice of Audra McDonald when it was interrupted by a text message from Ursula to all the roommates saying, "DON'T BUY ANYTHING THAT NEEDS TO GO IN THE FREEZER!!!! MY FOOD WAS MOVED AND I COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING AND ENDED UP BUYING ANOTHER BAG OF CHICKEN WHEN I ALREADY HAD ONE." I responded with, "I'm sorry your stuff was moved, but you can't dictate what people buy." Her response, "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING OF MINE EVER!!!!" Lord my load is heavy....
4.) The nastiest
When I would come home at night and open our bedroom door, I was met with a wall of stench. The foot of her bed was right next to the door and I was always greeted with the sour smell of her feet.
Every night she had a crap-a-thon in our bathroom. The reek would leak under the door and straight into my nostrils as I was going to bed. Then she would try to cover up the smell with a berry scented spray. I named the combo, TOXIC TURD BERRY. It haunts me to this day.
One night, I was lying in bed and she came home and started changing into her pjs. I opened my eyes to see something that is forever etched in my brain. Before she put on her shirt, she pulled something outta her belly rolls, looked at it, then ATE IT!!!
I cleaned period blood off of our toilet multiple times.
Also, I stepped in her urine once.
Now that I've relived those horrors, I leave it at that. Although, I could go on about the mini fridge she bought, the bags of candy, and multiple freak outs. I'm prolly not the best roommate of all time either. My hair ends up in all locations, I forget to do dishes on occasion, I leave piles of stuff, etc. We all have room for improvement. Wanna share your roommate stories?