Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Evita Peron, La Santa Peronista

Yes, I still exist. I was getting a little crazy with the blog posts anyway, so it was probably nice to have a break from my rambling. 

Anyway, the day I landed in the city, my friend Cy, called me up and asked if I wanted a job. Of course I said, YES! He told me to come down the the Marquis Theater in the Marriott Hotel in Times Square to meet with the manager of this merchandising company.

So, I took my severely jet-lagged self down to hell, I mean Times Square, and in a blur, met my now good friend Brendan, and have been listening to Ricky Martin and the rest of the cast of Evita at least 4 times a week while I sold t-shirts, mugs, and key chains. At least I can say I worked on Broadway, right....? 

(You wouldn't believe how many people asked if this is where Evita was playing....)

Saturday night was Evita's last. I didn't have too many feeling about it, but it was kind of an end to my first era here in New York. I had convos with both Alec Baldwin and Rachel Dratch (they asked me where the bathroom was) during my time at the Marquis. Saw J-Lo, Nia Vardalos, a bunch of other people of interest that I can't remember, obsessed Ricky fans, the mini-Rickies (adorable!), and a surprising number of trannies. 

We hit up the closing night party to share in the love and food.

Allan even showed who owns the company and is also a producer on the show. He has 4 Tony's for producing and is one of my favorite people in NYC to talk to. He buys me pizza sometimes and I let him.

So, farewell, Evita. You helped me meet some quality people, make some dollars, and feel a teensy bit involved in the industry. It's going on tour in the fall and maybe I'll see you then. But hopefully from the stage this time....(hello, mistress. cast me! So what happens nooooow?)

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Still here

I'll be back. Never you worry. It's been a busy few days and I've been too sleepy to write at night like I normally do. Tomorrow I'll have plenty of time to blog as I sit on the benches of shame hoping to get into some auditions (don't make me sing).

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Deep Breath

When getting to know someone, you always ask them where they're from. Especially in the city, since most people are from somewhere else. In my case, when I reply with, "Utah", the follow-up question is usually, "Are you a Mormon?" I always give a slight pause, accompanied with a deep breath, wondering if I should even answer. 

Why, you ask?

Because I'm afraid. Afraid I'll be judged and afraid the person asking is going to feel judged somehow when they get my answer. There is also a million questions that follow and sometimes, I just don't feel like going there. (Don't worry, I always suck it up and tell the truth). 

My fears were validated today, as one of my new managers asked the big question. When I replied with a yes, he said his walls are immediately up now. Since he is gay, he feels that all really religious people judge him and think he's being damned to hell.

Now, I know that all people don't build up walls when they learn about my religious life, but it makes me feel funny that some feel like I won't like them or value them as a human merely because of how I choose to worship God. 

I hope I made it clear to him, that I love all and accept all and I asked him to give me the benefit of the doubt. Just because I'm a Mormon/religious, doesn't mean I thought less of him because he's gay. Also, that I hoped he would do the same for me. 

Anyway, (this a poorly written word vomit blog, I'm starving) it got me thinking about what we in the Mormon culture can do to change other's perceptions that we are judgy judgertons (I am super judgy, but only if you're stupid). If you think about it, what we really believe is to love each other, love God, and let Him take care of the rest. I want that to be first thing the world knows about Mormons and not that we "hate the gays." Hopefully, we can figure that one out. 

This blog was a little too serious/boring for my liking. So enjoy this video for your entertainment.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

To bang or not to bang

That is always the question.

It's about that time again when my hair gets far too long to do anything with and I want to chop it all off. Instead of going Britney on myself, I'm thinking about a slight change and going with some fringe. 

Something along the lines of this:
Not too dramatically different from what my hair is now. I'm just not sure if I want to commit to bangs again.....

What say ye?

Monday, January 21, 2013

Mantra for 2013

Now that I've gotten that outta the way....let's talk about goals. 

In the past, I haven't really been one for New Year's resolutions. This year I think I'm a grown-up enough to actually follow through with them. So, I decided to make a few. 

Most, I'm keeping to myself (I'm shy), but the biggest one I will share, because I think it's the most important for me. If I share it I will be held more accountable, right? 

Here it is:

If I ever say I'm too scared to try something, don't let me get away with it! Unless, it's really stupid. Don't let me become an idiot in 2013.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Seeing red

Normally, I'm a no confrontation kinda gal. I like to keep things light-hearted. That being said, there comes a point when a woman can only take so much and she has to speak up.

And that time has come.

For years now, people have their opinions of my relationship with Mr. G. Since we have had an atypical Utah dating experience and haven't gotten married yet, talk seems to follow us and the "blame" is usually put on my man. People even say asinine, derogatory comments to ME!

Being the private person I am about my love life, I know that some of you haven't gotten to know the Mr. G that I "stick around" for. So for the few who don't get it yet (because most people think he is the bees knees like I do) let me enlighten you. 

(He will probably hate this post, because I'm going to expose him for the man of quality he is). 

Yes, he has a strong personality (which I love btw), but he'll hold my hand and ugly cry during a movie right along with me (see, he's gonna hate this). He saw two poor dead little ducklings the other day in the park, which made him sad, so he gave them a proper burial. I mean, come on! AND he rescued Chancho from the streets of Mexico!

That "strong personality" is also why he is a born leader, majorly successful, super popular, and has huge muscles. Duh!

Yes, he's jokester and sometimes people don't understand his humor, maybe find it offensive, but he is also the most sincere human I've ever know. When he gives a compliment, he actually means it. He is always first to volunteer help to anyone who needs it. Also, does a lot of good-doing anonymously. If you only knew.... Heart of gold I tell you. Heart of gold. 

We both find things that toe the line of tact funny. Sorry 'bout it!

Yes, we've had a crazy journey and most people don't understand it, but it's OUR crazy journey and we CHOOSE to continue it. I choose to continue it. 

Again, I choose it. 

I choose it, because, like they say, the little things. Things like:
back tickles, cooking me dinner more than I cook for him, opening doors, making me laugh constantly, reading books aloud, watching LOTR marathons, walks with Chancho, poop jokes, the broken fart-barrier, insanely supportive, mad guitar skills, foot rubs, telling me I'm beautiful, letting me pick at his clogged pores, bike rides, saying sorry, forgiving me, putting up with me, his rock star voice, thoughtful gifts, etc, etc, etc.

Without him, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to move to NYC. He has taught me to be brave and has been such a champion to me. 

That is why, my dears, he is my Captain Casanova (inside joke). Perhaps I've said too much, but I couldn't sleep with at least saying something when others have so much to say. 

Now go eat a cookie. 

Saturday, January 19, 2013

New Shoes

While we're on the subject of dogs, Mr. G sent me this hysterical (to me) video of poor Chancho being humiliated when he tried on his new shoes for the first time. Everyone was laughing at him, but he didn't know what those dumb, stupid little things on his feet were.
Poor buddy! He freaking hates them and everyone for laughing at him!

The kick-back of his hind legs kills me. And, I love that he looks up at Mr. G at the end wondering why he put those GD booties on his feet. I just know he's pleading with him to, "take 'em off!!!"

Needless to say, they were returned and his poor paws are still freezy when he goes to do his jobs (potty) outside. 

Friday, January 18, 2013

Tuna melts my heart

It's no secret that I'm obsessed with my dog (well, technically, Mr. G's dog, but I'm definitely his mom), Chancho.

But there is another dog that has stolen my heart via instagram. His name is Tuna and he looks like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. I've been following him since December when instagram featured his profile and I haven't stopped since. Seriously, I can't handle his cuteness/awkwardness. Go ahead and take a gander at his instagram and try not to smile, I dare you. 


There are too many stairs in my life.

Subway stairs.

Work stairs.

Apartment building stairs (of my 5th floor walk-up). 


Can't they all be a little more like these? The little guys outside my building.
What I'm trying to say is, if you're planning a visit, be prepared to work on your glutes.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Swear words.

Where the hell is my wallet....

That is the thought that went through my head this afternoon as I was searching every belonging and nook in my room/apartment. I was in a rush to leave, because I had a job interview and still needed to print off a resume which I needed my WALLET for. 

When I finally gave in to the evidence that it clearly wasn't in my possession, I wanted to cry. The thought of never finding my vital cards in this great big city almost swallowed me up. Instead, I scanned my brain to figure out the last place I used it.

Chipotle? No.
Starbucks? No.
Duane Reade? YES!

What I had done with it after I bought those tampins (yes, "ins") and chocolate? (cliche, much?)

I had gone back to work at the Marriott Marquis and gone into the bathroom. That's where it must be!!!

So I gathered all the stuff I did have and headed to the Marquis. 

Praise the Lord, they had it!

Son of a......all the cards were stolen out of it. Luckily, my driver's license was still in there. Getting a new ID would have majorly blown. The dirty whore who stole my shiz took my debit card, my old Utah debit card, and the Mastercard Debit Gift Card my dad and step-mom had just sent me for Christmas. What she (I'm assuming it was a she since I left it in the ladies bathroom) didn't take was my TJ Maxx gift card. You thought you got everything? Well, joke's on you, bitch! I'm gonna go get myself a discounted something. 

Apologies for the language, I'm annoyed, but mostly at myself. 

Good news is, my interview went really well and I'm 92% hired.

UPDATE: I'm now 100% hired. Huzzah!

Oh, Alanis....

Last night, I had an audition for an episode of this TV show called Deathly Worlds, or something like that, which airs on a branch-off channel of Discovery.
After looking at the website, I'm pretty sure they just do murder shows and this one is no different. You know those shows where they interview the experts and the people involved and then have the dramatic re-enactments. I was auditioning for one of the re-enactments (which are always the best of acting....)

In the character breakdown, it basically said that this was young woman was a petite brunette who stood by her man during all of the drama. That's all that was given. No biggie. For the audition, they just wanted to interview me about my acting experience. There weren't any sides or anything. Easy peasy! 

When the casting director sat down, she said she wanted to tell me a little bit more of the story of this specific episode. The first sentence out of her mouth was, "It's about a man who starts a polygamist cult and you would be one of his wives. The first wife."

Isn't it ironic, don't cha think......

UPDATE: I got a call back. HA!

Hell or Sanctuary?

The subway is the circulatory system of New York. Millions of people travel from here to there via the trains. So many stories to be told about the happenings down there. Some crazy good people watching as well. 

For me, it can be crazy scary/weird. Like yesterday when I got on to see this: 
That would be potting soil (I think) spread out on all the seats and a lone hooded man at the end of the car. He was the only person other than myself on that car.... So, obviously, I ditched him and the dirt at the next stop. It freaked me out a little. Wuss.

It can also be crazy annoying. Like when these guys get on 
They seem to ALWAYS know what car I'm on. You might be thinking, "Oh, that's fun. Live music." The first few times, sure. After the millionth?!?! NO! The white thing that lady (?) is "playing" is so GD loud, that no earbud known to man can block it out. It is handy though. It doubles as their piggy bank. Clever.

One time, the subway turned into my safe haven. I was coming out of an audition feeling particularly awesome about myself and was standing on the street corner waiting for the light to change so I could cross. As I was standing there, I felt a hand, from behind, go around my waist and a mouth get far too close to my neck. I turned around expecting to see a friend joking with me. Nope. No friend, but foe. To my surprise I came face to face with a toothless, white-haired, alcohol-breathing, homeless man trying to get all kinds of frisky with me. I screamed, "No thanks!" and ran down the closest stairs into the city's veins. (Note to self: maybe be a little more humble and creepers won't try to creep on you). 

You just can't make this stuff up.....I suppose you could say I have a love/hate relationship with the underground. Mostly, love.

PS. Sorry for the overkill of posts. There are just so many stories that I've wanted to document since I've moved here, but haven't.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Money, money, money

People may  not understand the amount of dollars it takes to attempt to be a professional actor. Lemme just tell you, it takes a small fortune. Here is a small list of things to help you get the picture:

  • headshots which cost hundreds out here
  • sheet music
  • printing headshots, resumes, and sheet music
  • audition clothes
  • voice lessons
  • coaching sessions for your big auditions
  • rehearsal pianists
  • acting classes
  • workshops with casting directors which are the best way to get in front of them
  • broadway shows to stay in the loop

The list goes on, my friends. The list goes on. Now add cost of living.

On my limited budget, it's annoying/frustrating. Some days I wish I had a sponsor to help a lady out, but it's nice to know I'm making it work on my own like a big girl. You know, satisfaction. 

If I'm ever need some inspiration I turn to this video to keep me going.

Bernadette kills it. She had the flu, you guys. Sometimes her voice is a little grating on my eardrums, but not this time. She makes me bawl.She even does her classic Bernadette shimmy! If I can someday inspire someone like this does me, I will continue to shell out the few dollars I have to make it happen. 

To those of you who are thinking about moving out here, start saving now. 

The church of theater is true. Amen. 


That's the sound when you make when there is a popcorn kernel stuck in your tonsil. Or, if you're lucky enough like me, when you are trying to remove a tonsil stone from said tonsil.

Never heard of a tonsil stone? Go here.

I would post a pic, but they gross me out a little (remember, bodies are gross). And whatever you do, do NOT google them, as some images and videos may be burned into your brain for eternity.

Thankfully, I only get them very rarely and I've never had the haligrossis (I know it's halitosis) that sometimes accompany them, but they freaking reek like the sulfuric bowels of hell once they are removed from their homes. 

The last time I got one was a couple of months ago when I was filming an episode of Smash as theater patron #276 (first and last time being an extra.....) As my coveted role, I was sitting there watching one of the stars lip syncing her heart out, when I felt the need to ACK. 

After I quietly huhummed, a tiny stink bomb come out onto my tongue. I couldn't get up and throw the death stone away. So, I quickly stuck my finger in my mouth and threw it to the theater floor. Judge me all you want, homegirl had to do something quick. 

The only problem was, I could still smell it. Normally, those little barf balls don't have that kind of stink-range. Outta sight, outta stink. But it was still pungent. We film another take and I know the guys next to me had to have smelled it. I was so confused!

Then I had a little scratch on my neck and what did I find? That's right, the little nasty nugget itself. It was on my GD neck!!! I tried to act natural and gracefully brushed it off to the floor. Phew! Finally, outta sight, outta stink. 

Did I mention I'm super dainty.....

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


This morning I've been working on putting my reel together and stumbled upon some gold. I never knew I could speak so quickly and in Czech!

That was probably only funny to me, but I had to share. (The make-up artist got a little over zealous with my eyebrow powder that day. Sheesh!) If you want to watch the full really cheesy film, you're in luck. It's on Netflix! Go take a look and make me two cents, will ya?

Monday, January 14, 2013


I feel so very New York composing a blog as I sit in my favorite sandwich shop, bumming off of their free wireless, and watching people go by (Mr. G will prolly say "oooo, exclusive..."). Higher Love is even playing which plays at the end of my favorite NYC movie, Big Business. Boom!

Compared to my day yesterday, today has been much improved. 

Not much is better than the feeling after you've nailed an audition. Even if you don't get the role (which you always hope you do, no getting around that one) it feels pretty freaking sweet to know that you've done your best and represented yourself well. There are so many things that go into casting, but I know that I've done my part.

This audition wasn't for anything big, but it was nice to feel creative and be "in" a scene again. I just really love acting, you guys. I do. It's fun. Especially when you have a quality reader that is actually "in" the scene with you and pretends he hasn't read the scene a billion times that day.

Now pardon me, I have a sandwich to eat.


Sometimes I suffer from the Winter Blues. Even though it feels kind of like early spring here in the city, yesterday was kind of a rough one. Not because anything big happened. I was just feeling a little lonely, wondering what the %#$@ I'm doing with my life, and missing these two.

Thankfully, I'm not in the frozen tundra that is Utah right now. 

I'd much rather have a little bit of this:

Than a whole lot of this:

Although, I do miss those mountains, Mr. G just texted me that it's currently 2 degrees. Yikes! No, thank you!

Luckily, the Golden Globes were on last night. Tina Fey and Amy Pohler knocked it out of the park. Hysterical. Thanks for getting me thru the night, ladies.This guy was also lifted my spirits.

So, instead of hating winter, I'm gonna focus on some fun winter times that I had over the holidays.

New Year's Eve was awesome. Just a low-key night with friends, playing a game of Things (which always gets outta control. perhaps a blog for another day), eating way too much, and blowing up gingerbread houses. Like you do. 

New Year's Day, we usually go sledding. We didn't last too long, because Utah had started its freeze-out. Mr. G could prolly last all day even in below freezing temps, but I'm a wuss in so many ways. My left bumcheek will never be the same after our sledtrain of five went over a little jump.

Chancho loved it. He was having the time of his life biting all the snow and trying to out-run us down the hill. His uncle Bubbo even ran him over one time, but he didn't even care! After the day of fun, he was all tuckered out and freezing.

If Chancho can make the most of winter, even when his paws get too freezy, I guess I'll do my best to do the same. As long as I can look at John Hamm.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

I Believe

Mr. G recommended this book to me after he discovered it on an all-day journey back to Utah from visiting me in NYC. He finished it that day. He said it was amazing, so naturally I stole it from him at Christmas.

He was absolutely right.

I don't want to give too much away, because I really think most everyone would benefit from reading it, but Dr. Alexander's story is incredible. He contracted an rare case of bacterial meningitis which caused his brain to shut down (I'll admit, my body went a little limp when reading about the medical stuff. Bodies are gross). When it did, he traveled elsewhere. Most people call this a Near-Death Experience (NDE). His is cool to me, because he brings the science side of things into his story to help deem it more credible and give it an edge. 

What I loved about his NDE, is that it helped strengthen my personal beliefs about God, our purpose, and our journey after this life. One of my favorite things he relays from his story is:

"Love is, without a doubt, the basis of everything.Not some kind of abstract, hard-to-fathom kind of love but the day-to-day kind that everybody knows--the kind of love we feel when we look at our spouse, our children, and even our animals."

I think love is such an important aspect of life (beyond being the hopeless romantic that I am) and an important lesson to learn. When it boils down to it, he is right, love is the basis of everything. God loves us and we are sent here to love each other and Him. It was a good reminder of that for me. I need to focus more on the people I love and the people around me. So, thanks, Eben Alexander, here's to living a more complete life.

No matter what your religious view are (the Dr. doesn't share mine), this book has the ability to change your perspective and life. It is worth a day of reading.

Happy Sabbath.

No Promises

Just so we're all on the same page, I make no promises that this blog will be any good, witty/funny, use proper grammar (sorry Mr. Downs), or be worth your while (since it's mostly just for me anyway. Can you say selfish?). What I DO promise, is that I will always be candid, at least attempt to be one of the above non-promises, make a fool of myself, and prolly mention these two a little too much.

So cute I wanna squish them!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Me monster?

So, I'm realizing that in order to "make it" in the biz, there is some level of self-promotion and networking that has to be done. This has kinda been a struggle for me. I've always been down to promote shows I've been in and such, but it feels super douchey to be all about me. Friends who are in the biz, have given advice and told me to not be so timid about. After all, I am selling myself in order to get jobs. But what is the right level of I'm-super-awesome-and-talented-work-with-me do I need to give off? How do I do it in a way that isn't off putting and fake? I just want to stay my genuinely weird self and get paid to do the only thing I'm semi-good at. Is that too much to ask?  Hopefully, I'll figure it out. Until then, enjoy this video.

Pinterest FAIL

One day, I was home sick in bed and decided I needed to get up and do something to keep myself sane. I had been on Pinterest and decided to actually try this beauty tip I had pinned earlier that day. 

What was supposed to look something like this:

Ended up looking something like this:

Go ahead....laugh. I couldn't stop. Even now, it cracks me up!

The treatment actually bettered my face and my mood. 

Friday, January 11, 2013

Mmmmm Cookies

Embarrassed party of one

Ever have a moment when you've wanted to just fall into the earth and disappear?

Yeah, me too. Happened tonight. 

Initially, I was sad about just missing the last express A train home, but when it was time to get off, my woes exploaded. Literally.

As I stood up to get off the train, a giant, robust, gas exploaded from my body, echoing throughout the train. No warning. No control. Said flatulence surprised us all. There was no ignoring it since it was so obviously me. 

I simply said, thru my fit of laughter, "sorry 'bout it!" and hurried off the train. Pretty sure I heard some sniggering as I left. Or maybe it was choking....